Treasure Hunt: A Wall Clock

Posted on | March 3, 2014 | 4 Comments

This Treasure Hunt is for yours truly. You see, I don’t have a clock. At least not a proper clock that isn’t an iPhone/cable box/microwave and hangs on the wall. I like the idea of one hanging in my kitchen or living room. On the other hand, knowing what time it is can be overrated. Said the lady who is often running fifteen minutes behind.

So to recap, I’m looking for -> A simple, graphic, retro-ish wall clock. No more than $60.

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Introducing: The Love Files

Posted on | February 28, 2014 | 6 Comments

Here’s the thing, I’m not really “dating” anymore which is why my Dating Files posts have really slowed down. It just doesn’t make much sense anymore. What do you do when dating turns into love? Well, I’ll tell you. This post marks the official retirement of The Dating Files and the introduction of a new series around here: The Love Files. I’ll be talking about all things relationship-y, both in general and in my relationship. And don’t worry, I cleared this idea with my man. See, we’re already off to a good start. Welcome to The Love Files, my friends.

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The Story of Our Second Valentine’s Day

“What do you want to do about Valentine’s Day?” My boyfriend asked, setting his phone (and game of Candy Crush) down, and turning to look at me.Hmm. Valentine’s Day: always tricky waters to navigate in the river of a relationship. On one hand, it’s a stupid holiday. On the other, there’s a palpable feeling that you should do something, an expectation of some sort of effort being made. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope for something and believe me when I tell you that my expectations are not sky high. I once got an external hard drive for Valentine’s Day. Unwrapped. Still in the crumpled Best Buy bag with the receipt and everything. I smiled politely and thanked him. Maybe, I was different back then.When Valentine’s Day rolled around last year Matt and I had only been dating for about a month. Which made us a cute and nervous pair, unsure of what exactly we were and wondering where we were headed. He gave me two records (Bob Dylan’s Blonde and Blonde and Explosions in the Sky’s The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place – for those keeping score) and I gave him a pair of nice socks, some hand lotion (he had complained of dry hands) and a cute card. We had dinner at a low key but fancy schmancy pizza place and shared a giant piece of carrot cake on my couch afterwards. One fork. It was lovely and perfect.

The thing about Valentine’s Day is this: it’s a bullshit Hallmark day made up to sell tacky cards with pictures of foggy roses on them and terrible chocolate covered cherries in heart shaped boxes. But you know what else? It’s also a chance to do something for and with the person you love. And shouldn’t we always jump at those opportunities?

“Let’s just do dinner and a card. I don’t need anything big.”

“Okay. Sounds good to me.”

And so it was settled. Until, I cheated. I said no gifts but I turned around and broke the rules. I didn’t do it to be mean or sneaky or anything like that. I got him something because I love him. And I’m a present person. And I see things all the time that I want to get for the people I love. So I do. It comes from a good place, I promise. And one of my favorite things to give is tickets which is really a present for the both of us if we’re being honest. So I got him tickets (to see Neutral Milk Hotel and the Tonight Show (thank you sister!) – for those keeping score). I topped it all of with a handmade card and a heartfelt message. He picked a cute italian place in Astoria (hid ‘hood) and he made sure it was a New York Magazine critics pick because he knows I like that (food snob). And we had a perfect dinner. We talked (at length) about what we would order and we laughed and talked like we always do. After dinner we went to get drinks.

“Can I give it to you now?!” I asked excitedly waving the card in the air. I had warned him that I had cheated.

He groaned. “This is unfair, you know. You said no presents. You said just spend time together.”

“I know I did. You won’t be mad for long once you see what’s inside. Besides, I’m getting a card right?”

“No,” he answered.

No. No card? Hadn’t I specifically said dinner and a card?

“But I said dinner AND a card.”

“No, you said dinner. Maybe a card.”

Um but didn’t he know that when I said “maybe a card” I actually meant “you should definitely get me a card?” Turns out he did not.

Of course, it all sounds so ridiculous now, weeks later. I’m a smart, modern lady who understands silly, grand gestures made on holidays does not a loving relationship make. But at the time, I was hurt. Valentine’s Day or not, I had my heart set on a card and he had no card. But guess what? I didn’t smile politely and thank him. I explained that I was hurt and upset. I told him I didn’t need a lot but that some romance was important to me and that I thought I had made that clear to him. Perhaps I laid it on a little too thick (I do that sometimes). He felt shitty.We sat in silence for a few minutes.”I’m sorry I’m not everything,”  he said looking across the table at me, “I wish I could be everything you want. But I’m not.”

His apology hung in the air for a second. He wasn’t just apologizing for the card or for Valentine’s day; he was apologizing for something much bigger, for not being perfect. I looked at him in the candlelight of the neighborhood bar, snow falling outside, my glass of wine and his beer on the table between us. Before I met him I spent so long thinking at length about what I wanted in a partner. But those hypothetical lists of everything you want fall away when you’ve found the person who might just be everything you need.

“Yes you are. You are everything.”

I reached my hand across the table and he grabbed it and gave it a little squeeze. Because sometimes that’s all I need.

The end.
 
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Image via Joe & Cheryl

 

Get Out of Town

Posted on | February 26, 2014 | 6 Comments

Where would you go if you could take a trip anywhere? I am dreaming (and scheming) of a big, fun adventure trip with my man this summer. We won’t be untethered forever, you know! And really, what’s stopping us? I personally like a trip that combines beautiful beaches with adventure and exploration, a heaping side of relaxation and lots (and lots) of fun food and cocktails. No big resorts either. Something off the beaten path but noting too rustic. A girl still likes a wee bit of luxury. Quirky luxury. Is that a thing? Well it is now. I’d love to tool around on rented scooters or motorcycles. And I’m a huge sucker for an outdoor shower.

So give me your ideas! Some of my preliminary thoughts include Jamaica, Greece and Thailand.

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Images: Image by Trujillo/Paumier for The New York Times, The Travel Channel, Qutaibah Altwairesh for National Geographic

The Old Sweet Song Oscar Pool

Posted on | February 25, 2014 | 4 Comments

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I am such an Oscars nerd. In lieu of a party (which I SWEAR I will get around to planning one of these years) I’m keeping one of my favorite traditions alive: an Oscars Pool. Because I come from a family where pretty much everything was turned into a game and/or possibility to win money, we always organized a pool for The Academy Awards. It’s a favorite memory of mine.

So I’m organizing a pool for this years Oscars. If you’d like to participate email me and I’ll send you instructions. It’s $10/ballot and the more entrants the higher the stakes. I’m pretty good at these things though, just saying.

You’ve been warned.

CLICK HERE TO EMAIL ME AND TELL ME YOU WANT TO PLAY!

Leaving New York

Posted on | February 24, 2014 | 8 Comments

When you live in one place for almost ten years, especially a transient place like New York, you get used to seeing people leave. They come and go and come and go again. In fact, one of my very best friends just left. It was a tough one for me. Selfishly, I’m bummed about the gaping hole it left in my lady time social calendar. But like any good friend, I’m excited for this new chapter in her life. And, leaving New York can’t be easy. I’ve never done it but I imagine if I do someday it will be incredibly hard. And I’ve found the perfect gift to bestow on those who are leaving this wonderful place: New-York-in-A-Bag.  It includes eight iconic landmarks and six cars made of sustainable wood. It’s small enough to display on a desk or bookshelf. So even if someone you love leaves, they’ll always have a little piece of New York* with them.

*Subway rats and enormous piles of black grimy snow not included.

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