Posted on | October 26, 2012 | 5 Comments
I know, I know. That’s got to be the craziest question ever asked, right? Eight million people live here and I’m no genius but I’m pretty sure that’s a lot of people. And even though there are more women in this town than men (52.5% women to 47.5% men), there’s still over 3.8 million men running around this crazy city. Now when you take into account age, and attractiveness, and relationship status and general craziness level that number gets a lot smaller. But still, logic would tell us this town is plenty big and there are plenty of handsome, eligible, adorable men out there just waiting to meet somebody like your girl here.
But. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. No, this week it has not felt that way at all. Take for example Tuesday night. I went to Williamsburg to babysit for a few hours and decided to stop at Urban Outfitters on the way home. (side note: The clothes that Urban Outfitter peddles raaaarrrely fit me. I think it’s the hips and the boobs and the ass that I possess, but I can’t be sure. I’m not sure why I keep trying and I really should just stop). So after the tragic trip to the UO dressing room I headed home. I was walking due south on sixth avenue and in between 14th and 9th streets (FIVE BLOCKS, MIND YOU) I passed not one but two guys I had been on dates with. Disturbing. I averted my eyes (as you do) and prayed they didn’t want to strike up a conversation. Thankfully, I had pulled the slow fade out with both of them so neither tried to strike up a conversation.
And then, yesterday, I decided to take advantage of my day off and head over to my local coffee shop to write and get some other work done (facebook and online shopping for cowboy boots). I was standing in line deciding what to order when I felt a person standing way to close to me who then creepily whispered into my ear, “what are you going to order?” I turned to find the hilarious stand up comedian I’d been on several dates with over the past year or two. He really makes me laugh and has cute glasses so you would think this would be a good thing. But you would be wrong because I haven’t told you yet what I looked like. It wasn’t pretty, friends. Unshowered. Dorky gym clothes. Hair in a messy, bumpy, greasy ponytail. And the worst part, an evil, massive, red zit right on my chin. And this is obviously what happened because we all know that’s how the Universe works. You never run into cute boys when you’re looking all good. No, it has to be when you look your absolute shittiest. So, thanks for that Universe!
And this is all to say that in a city of 8 million+ I have run into three men from my past in the last week within a quarter mile radius of my house. I regularly pass guys I recognize from okcupid. And if that’s not enough, I had a date two weeks ago and then I promptly ran into him on the street just two days later. I MEAN – WHAT?!. Yes, it’s a big city but there are times when it really feels more like a small town. And sometimes that causes a lady to crave an all new neighborhood and all new boys. The truth is, Brooklyn is starting to look really, really good.
And with that it’s time for the weekend, my dears. And here’s to hoping we only run into people when we’re looking our most smokin’.