The Dating Files: Communication
Posted on | May 11, 2012 | 9 Comments
I have plenty of friends who have been off the market for quite awhile. Friends who have been married and/or in committed relationships for years. And they always ask me “what’s it like out there?” And I think truthfully it’s probably pretty much the same. There are some goods ones and some bad ones. Some who want to get to know you and some who just want to get in your pants. But I think one thing that’s changed is, and I kid you not, 95% of all communication is done via text. And I get it, I’m a pretty voracious texter too. Texting is easy and quick and perfect for lots of things like a simple question or a funny aside or an “on the way.” But, texting definitely isn’t romantic. And so much of the romance is already absent from the whole online dating process that it’s a shame when the few remaining opportunities for romance are cast aside. Any form of communication where you have to include a smiley or a wink to make sure the other person gets what you’re saying is definitely imperfect. And I think the reliance of texts, specifically in dating, is kind of a downer.
I’ve gotten nice texts, sweet texts, dirty texts, awkwardly long texts, hilarious texts, photo texts and sad/pathetic/pleading texts. But the one thing I haven’t gotten a lot of is phone calls. And let me be clear, I’m not staunchly anti-text or anything. I don’t have a rule about not going out with a guy if he texts or anything like that. But, if he calls, I take notice and it makes me smile. It’s such a small thing but it says “hey, I like you enough to call you.” And it means something. In this weird world of online dating there’s something personal about calling that reminds you you’re still just a girl and he’s still just a boy and you’re trying to see if you like each other like people have done for years. I’m a sucker for the phone call. I love hearing what guys sound like on the phone. And I think the quasi-awkwardness of the first few phone calls is totally sweet and endearing. I guess I’m still a little bit old fashioned. And I almost took a second date with a guy who I had decided not to go out with again SIMPLY BECAUSE he called. True story.
So to all the boys out there (who aren’t reading this), pick up the phone and call us girls. We really like it. Alright, that’s my two cents. Where do you fall on texting vs. calling? And seriously, have a fabulous weekend. It’s the smart thing to do.
xo
Amy
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9 Responses to “The Dating Files: Communication”
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May 11th, 2012 @ 3:32 pm
Spot on post. I was stuck with endless texters in the online dating world and now I’m with a guy who calls, and calls a lot. It is such a welcome change. We still text a good bit, but it’s funny stuff or about scheduling logistics or to say hi. The phone calls are my favorite though.
May 11th, 2012 @ 3:44 pm
Hooray for finding a nice boy who calls, Ashley! I think the good ones call. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.
May 11th, 2012 @ 4:32 pm
you are right, the good ones do call. I’m a sucker for it too. i can’t stand when guys try to get to know you via text. really? call me. hear me. hell listen to my laughter, its pretty infectuous!
Thanks for the post! love your blog, Amy. awesome stuff.
May 11th, 2012 @ 4:58 pm
I sort of hate the awkwardness of a phone call with someone I haven’t met in person yet. So, I did not mind in the least when my husband asked me out for our first date in an email. I also liked that he did it after a week (not too short and not too long) and suggested dinner at an Indian restaurant. Nom nom. I wouldn’t have liked being asked out via text. The first phone call was still awkward, but at least I’d met him already. I’m not a fan of text with anyone. I don’t chat over text with my husband, family or friends. And if they try to with me, they get an email back or probably get ignored. I just hate texting. I mean, I’ll send a funny one liner or let someone know I’m running late. But, overall, text is a transaction. It is not communication.
May 12th, 2012 @ 8:25 am
Though I’m a little removed from the whole dating thing, I totally know what you mean. The text thing is so prevalent. I remember the first awkward phone calls I had with my husband. They were just awkward enough and just perfect enough to let me know something great would happen.
Also, love, love, love your blog! I’m an Atlanta girl too. I lived in the Poncey-Highlands, loved the local and MJQ (does that place still exist?), and miss it so.
May 13th, 2012 @ 2:50 pm
I too am an avid texter, but it’s definitely nice to have that unexpected, heart racing when you see the caller ID phone call.
May 14th, 2012 @ 12:50 am
Well said! Texting is fun and I think it’s great for short cute messages and to let someone know something quickly or that you’re thinking of them when you know they’re busy. But nothing compares to real conversation. There’s something just magical about that, whether it’s with a friend or someone you’re dating or whatever.
May 14th, 2012 @ 12:54 pm
I’m a naturally anxious phone-talker. In fact, I don’t like talking on the phone, even with people really close to me. But I love face-timing with my fiance (he does consulting work in Phoenix, we live in Cincinnati)…it’s the best. We met online and for the first month, we only emailed. We didn’t even have each other’s numbers. We didn’t speak on the phone until a couple days before we met. And once we started dating, we continued to email constantly and when we weren’t emailing we were spending time with each other. Now we text more than anything, because it’s convenient with the time difference and we can do it at work and not interrupt each other’s work flow.
May 14th, 2012 @ 1:10 pm
@Rebecca – I’m pretty sure it still exists. I grew up in Inman Park! I love ATL dearly. Thanks for the sweet words. xo